Articles Tagged with

invest in myself

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QUIET QUITTING – THE ANSWER TO BURNOUT?

This trending topic is receiving a huge amount of attention which shows that it is really striking a chord. I want to explore it because it is just not in my psychology. I’m too black and white, either for something or against it. If I don’t like a work situation, I’ll leave. I’m probably more of a Great Resignation rather than a ‘lie-back’ person.

When I posted about quiet quitting on LinkedIn a few days ago, one of the people who responded wrote this:

“It’s heart-breaking to think anyone could feel the need to do this in any aspect of their life. ❤️‍🩹”
”Life is a gift 🎁 something so precious 🌟 that we only get to enjoy once & when it’s gone, there isn’t a re-run we can apply for 🙏🏼
”If “quiet-quitting” is as good as it gets for some people, what are they waiting for? ⏰ Who do they think will make the changes in their life & why don’t they see they deserve so much better?! 💪🏼 
”I’ve heard of ‘controlling the controllables’ but if we don’t own our shit, then we leave the door open for anyone else to do that for us. And we all know people who will happily step into those shoes for us😠

“Rant over 😂 great post Hilary Rowland & a terrifying concept. I just hope anyone who is in this trap has the support around them to realise the stars are only a moment away 💫”

It got me thinking that, while quiet quitting, the art of doing no more than is required of you, may be the right response to burnout for some people in a few desperate situations, but to be emotionally and mentally healthy it should be intentional, thought through, a deliberate plan.

There are many people who are very burnt out and I recently spoke to someone who is intending to take time out of the workplace to recover. As the saying goes, ‘They who fight and run away live to fight another day.’ But that’s the point, it’s not giving up the fight whatever that represents. It’s regrouping, refreshing and recovering.

Perhaps those quiet quitters feel they’ve had too many demands made of them, been asked to do things that are not their fight and without support and recognition, and therefore why should they bother? I’m with them on that, but to really benefit from stepping back, it needs to be part of a larger plan for life, one where they own the direction.

There’s no doubt things are very difficult in many ways at the moment.

What do you really need? We can help you think it through. Our retreats offer the opportunity to step back, take some time out, decide what’s right for you. Act now. 

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Walking the talk

This week I’m back on the Scottish island of Iona. I came here last year for a retreat feeling very burnt out like many others. It restored my soul and a sense of perspective.

When I look back over the last year, I’m aware that we now have an even greater focus on wellbeing together with our partners Cesar Gamio and George Anderson. I’ve written a White Paper on the wellbeing needs of senior executives and we’ve designed some programmes for them which involve both retreats and coaching.

I’m a great believer in eating my own dog food and having my own retreat is so important to be able to do what we do. It is a privilege and an honour to work with people so dedicated to their personal growth and to see the transformation in them and their lives. The changes seem to encompass so many areas:

  • Family – rebuilding and investing in relationships with partners and children
  • Business – building self-belief, valuing himself and his contribution so that he can ask for the fees he deserves
  • Discovering new abilities – who knew she had artistic talents?
  • Finding a network of people that have your back and will encourage you to keep growing.

It’s made me think about how I’ve invested in my own wellbeing this year and what has made a difference as I’m not going to Iona burnt out. A bit tired but not burnt out.

  • Setting aside time for a weekly meditation
  • Putting routines in place, having set times for writing and generating content
  • Keeping my mornings, when I have most energy, for important things and work which requires greater concentration. I keep afternoons for calls and meetings when I need the interaction with others to reenergise me
  • Planning my week every Friday so that I hit the ground running on Monday, not faffing around trying to work out what I’m meant to be doing
  • And finally, not a difficult one for me, exercise – cycling, swimming, walking and Pilates.

Iona is a very spiritual place which is one of the things I love about it. Spirituality matters to me as it does to a lot of us, but we don’t seem to feel comfortable talking about it, perhaps because of the fear that it will spill over into religion which can be so contentious. For me, it’s about the connection with something much bigger than myself, as well as what makes my life meaningful and significant.

What works for you in managing your time, energy and contribution?

Blog

Your Wellbeing or Personal Indulgence?​

This is a big topic at the moment. It attracts so much attention and creates so many headlines that it would almost seem to be a global obsession. It may have got to the point that people switch off when they hear the word even though the need has not disappeared.  Tech companies seem able to sell any number of apps and gadgets to measure every aspect of physiological function, but for many people, does it go beyond measurement and the possible creation of even more anxiety caused by the results?

I know it’s important but that doesn’t mean I find it any easier to give it the right priority in my life. My toes curl slightly at the term ‘self-care’. If our wellbeing were a business, would we invest in it? If not, why not? Here’s the business case for the investment:

  • Protecting the company’s investment. Sports franchisees that pay top dollar for star athletes require them to exercise, eat better and take care of their overall wellness during the season. The same should be true for C-level employees as companies pay more for those roles, particularly the top job. Considering that the Economic Policy Institute estimates that average CEO pay is 271 times the nearly $58,000 annual average pay of the typical American worker, it could be said that the C-Suite should be held to a higher personal maintenance standard.
  • Supposing you depart suddenly as a result of ill health. Costs can mount quickly without an obvious internal replacement. The typical seven-figure severance package and six-figure retainer for an executive search firm are just the beginning. Board members might have to fly in on short notice for an emergency meeting. A small army of professionals — all of whom charge by the hour — begins to mobilise: communications consultants and employment lawyers, movers and relocation experts. The longer the clock ticks, the higher the figure on the meter. And those are just the hard, easily quantifiable impacts. They pale in comparison to the less visible costs. Turmoil and uncertainty at the top filter quickly down through the organisation, slamming the brakes on growth initiatives, hindering the closing of vital deals, and causing some valued employees to start looking for new positions elsewhere.
  • What is more difficult to quantify but a reality nonetheless is the cost of lack of efficiency, delayed decisions, and bad decisions as a result of ill-health, burnout or being generally sub-par.

What’s your level of investment in your wellbeing? Can you afford NOT to invest in wellbeing?

Blog

Do you aspire to a life less ordinary?

What do you aspire to? Do you feel you haven’t yet achieved your potential? Do you believe that it’s never too late to invest in yourself?  Do you have a sense that you have so much to give but are held back by your current role? Is there someone you’re close to you feel is holding you back? Are the circumstances of your life getting in the way? Are you looking for inspiration to take the next step? Or even courage?

It’s time to act!

We meet a lot of successful people who’ve lost a sense of purpose and direction, run out of steam, gone off the boil, been knocked off course by any of life’s difficulties and we help them get back to their best. Our clients know the power of investing in their own personal growth and development, they are emotionally intelligent and self-aware. We help nurture that awareness into action, leading to a more fulfilled life. Bringing focus, renewed energy and impact. 

If this is you, one of our 5-day retreats (spread over 3 months) is exactly what you need.

We’re not for the ‘yes but-ers’, ‘someday I’ll-ers’, ‘I’m too busy-ers’. We are for you when you’re starting to feel the effects of ‘I haven’t got time for myself’ when you find yourself making mistakes, postponing important decisions, feeling the loneliness of your position, always in a rush, never enough time for the family, not sleeping, using drinking or drugs to get you through.

‘I haven’t got time for myself’? What about all the people who depend on you: your family, staff, clients, suppliers, friends? What would happen to them and how would they feel if something happened to you?

Are you ready to take yourself on an adventure? Ready to embark on your own hero’s journey? And what about the consequences if you don’t? We are your Sherpas. We’ll get you to the top and back in one piece.

Our next ‘Your Next Chapter’ retreat starts on 7th March. See you there?

Blog

Time For A Retreat?… I Don’t Think So

We have just concluded the first 3 days of our flagship retreat programme for a cohort of senior executives.  We wanted to share an article written by one of the group to give you a flavour of the life-changing benefits to be experienced.

Someone said to me ‘you should go on a retreat’, ‘a retreat? have you seen my diary, I barely have time for lunch each day let alone 5 days out on a retreat’. ‘No way. I’m fine as I am thanks’.

(Getting up at 5am, working until 7pm and regularly working at the weekends too. Heart regularly beating beyond the pace it should, snapping at the children in the brief 30 minutes I saw them before bedtime and so exhausted missing dinner as I didn’t have time and going to bed at 9pm before a restless night’s sleep and groundhog day starting again).

No I’m fine thanks – I don’t have time for a retreat.

Meanwhile, friends raising their concern with me that I’m always working and ‘are you ok’ ‘you must remember to look after yourself’, the occasional gut-wrenching comments from the children that ‘you’re always working mummy’ ‘we never see you’ ‘please can you stop looking at your laptop and help me with my reading?’. Family members raising constant concern that ‘you can’t keep going at this rate’ you’ll burn yourself out’.

Time for a retreat…? No thanks, I’m fine. Honestly, I’m fine.

Clients sending me messages of concern, distant contacts from the past noting their concern on social posts, family pleading me to take some time out.  Anxiety in my chest, shallow sharp breathing, never taking a deep full breath, sleep getting harder and harder due to a constant busy mind. Restless legs. Drinking a glass or two of wine every night knowing it’s a quick way to get to sleep (despite never staying asleep for long). Changing my diet to try to shift a few pounds but having no luck. Exercising more but feeling more depleted. Running harder and faster on the treadmill but getting nowhere. More meetings, more actions, more calls, ok let’s try getting up at 4am instead then and gaining another hour for work – I’m not sleeping so why not.

I’m no wife, I’m no mother, I’m no business owner, I’m no daughter, I’m no friend. I’m doing none of those things successfully. But then I was told as a young girl, struggling with studies and dyslexia, ‘you’ll never achieve academically so just accept that. Just accept you won’t get high grades you’re not clever enough’.

Time for a retreat…? No thanks, I’m fine.

I’m not fine. I’m far from fine but I don’t have time to take out for myself.

Is that what I want written on my gravestone? Is that what I want my legacy to be. Is that the view I want my children to have of a successful role model and mother?

……..

I met Hilary and Peter through a business group called BoB (Business of Brand) and I helped them shape the strategy and marketing activation for their Retreat business, a new venture they had taken after years of experience coaching and mentoring senior executives and dealing with their fair few personal turning points in life. They were inspiring, they talked about the power and intensity of self-discovery their retreats created and we shared stories from previous retreaters for the website and social.

……

I’ve just returned from the first 3 days of their flagship 5 day Executive Retreat (split into 3 days with a 10 week period of reflection before the final 2 days) and here is what I’ve learned.

  • I am worth it.
  • I can break the ground hog day and I will.
  • I can be successful without jeopardising my family and friends.
  • I am good at what I do. And people appreciate me and see strengths and skills I me I never knew I had.
  • I’ve got a strong purpose and I’m value driven, I just never realised those values and how I play them out in day to day life in decisions and relationships.
  • I’m not the little girl standing in her head teachers office being told to accept second best.
  • I’m not a failed mother.
  • I’m someone who is powerful and strong and I now know exactly what I need to do to get the balance I need in life. I need to let the fun back in. I need regular time out, for me, to make me the best version of myself I can be.
  • I’m three days in but world’s apart from the women that arrived on that sunny Sunday afternoon.

Set in the beautiful countryside in the Cotswold, surrounded by two ultimate professionals who know exactly what they are doing and the journey they are taking people on – I discovered I have passion, kindness and determination racing through my veins. I’m better equipped now to channel this and I’m on a journey with like-minded professionals.

www.nextchapteretreats.guru

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